The End of My Comfort Zone

Lately I have been feeling kind of homesick. I have never been this far away from home or felt so removed from the happenings of my family and friends. The bombardment of everything new has been exciting yet exhausting. It is the slow realization that if I'm feeling down or want to be around my family, I can't just jump in my car, pop in my favorite CD and drive back to my comfort zone. This is the first time I have been truly on my own, not only physically but emotionally as well. I am no longer a short car ride from the comforts of home cooked meals or the presence of people who really know who I am. I keep hearing that I should just give it time, let my new relationships progress and wait until I am settled in but sometimes I am too impatient for my own good. I want results now! Often times when I don't see the fruit of my efforts - my efforts to truly branch out and be on my own - it can be discouraging. When is the reason why I am here going to all make sense? When is that life altering moment going to happen? That's why I signed up for this crazy program right?

I feel like I am in the right place at the right time but am absolutely clueless to why I feel that way. Serving for a year in New Orleans feels so right to me, on several different levels. It's achieving many of the goals I have set for myself - getting out on my own, leaving the northeast, serving an area in need and reconnecting with my faith. However, the million dollar question still echoes - why do I feel like a chicken with its head cut off? Aimlessly wandering, trying to act like I know what I'm doing and why I'm here. The answer is not tangible, not something I could point my finger too but just a feeling I have that I am supposed to be doing this. I'm beginning to think the uneasiness that I feel is part of the journey - everything only makes sense when it's all over and I can look back, laughing at just how clueless I really was. Asking myself, what was I so worried about again?

My family is the best and I miss being all together very much!

I am really trying to embrace and enjoy this ride to the fullest. I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss the northeast but I'm beginning to see that being on my own isn't so bad. Because after all, the start of great things begin at the end of your comfort zone.

Lesson from the Journey: Just go with your gut.