Growing Up

Lately I have been feeling pressure to "get my act together". Now that April is right around the corner, the daunting question of what I will be doing next year is more frequently being asked not only by others but also by myself. It's not like I have put off this task to the last minute or anything like that - I have applied to several programs and reached out to a few organizations. I don't doubt that I will find something to do next year but the fact that I still don't know what I ultimately want to do with my life or as a career is scary and often times extremely deflating. I feel like I have a lot to offer but I don't know how I want to channel my passions and my interests. It's definitely a challenge.

One of the things that has been weighing on me the most is where I physically want to be next year. I have come to love and adore the city of New Orleans more than I ever thought possible. A huge part of me wants to stay down here another year and continue to explore this wonderful place. It's funny how I thought a year would be a sufficient amount of time to really get to know a place, but I find that my To Do list is growing faster than I can keep up with it. Not that I ever anticipated doing everything but I thought I would have checked off a lot more than I have. There is just so much to see and do. It is also extremely attractive that many of the friends that I have made here are staying another year so if I found something to do in New Orleans I would have people to live and hang out with on a regular basis.

You always hear that growing up is hard and you come to appreciate the simpler days in life that will never be again (i.e. the days of no bills, few responsibilities and where the world felt like your oyster). Growing up is so hard. Sometimes harder than I want it to be. I wish I could get a letter in the mail saying "Dear Alyssa, You need to get so and so job to be happy and successful. Sincerely, Life". Wouldn't that just be lovely? I feel so lost sometimes that the day where I have a job that I am happy in and that supports me seems like a speck in the distance. It also isn't easy to have my sister getting her act together seemingly sooner than me. The pressure!

I guess I just need to keep reminding myself that 23 years old does not qualify me as ancient (I mean I can't even rent a car!) and I just need to take things one step at a time. Unfortunately that is way easier said than done because if I was thinking about this calmly and rationally I probably wouldn't be blogging about it. Keep me in your thoughts as I try to navigate this thing they call life.

Lesson from the Journey:

Yeah me either Wendy.